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[15 Jun 2004|04:24am] |
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mood |
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burried |
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music |
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Muse - Time is Running Out |
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switching lj: heart kicks head
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[08 Jun 2004|01:26am] |
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"happy" birthday to me
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[30 May 2004|11:22pm] |
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i am trying so hard to be okay... but there is this overwhelming necessity to strangle you both... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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[29 May 2004|03:01am] |
tomorrow, may 30th, we would have been together for 2 years and 6 months
well.. i closed my journal thinking that i wouldnt get to use the internet anymore.. but terrance helped me fix my home computer.. so i guess i can still write here...
but i am just going to join the ranks of crying and whining livejournal users, you know, the kind we always make fun of.
shit. i just don't know what to do. everything sucks so badly right now. i just cry like a fucking baby all day. goddamn.. i can't say goddamn enough...
i tried not to hate her but i guess emotions win over logical thinking... it is my fault that he broke up with me, not hers, and it's my fault i'm not good enough.. but i can't tell my heart that i guess.
am i stupid or is this normal... i've never been heartbroken like this before..
from my deathfirefly journal
dec 2nd 2001
"so ter and i went to the mall, then to like bennigans and ate cheesestix. it was so funny, while we were eating there was a minute of quietness and he goes "whats your last name" and immediately i'm like "hamilton what's yours!!" it was SO funny cuz early in the day i'd been thinking i was so gay i didn't even know his last name!!!@ now i do tho, so i'm not quite so gay. then watched uhm... about 1/3 of harry potter *blush* ^^0 whoo!
so at 11:30 everyone was gone and i walked ter out to his car to say good bye. he finally left at 2:45 am. rofl. i can't believe we made out/talked for three hours, just standing there. it was delicious! we are very similar and i think i like him quite a bit. he bit me and was like "watch out i'm a bit of a vampire" and i was in love right then. hell yes he is a vampire! SO AM I. this is the greatest. KNOW WHAT ELSE?! he hates it when people crack their knuckles!!@ ME TOO. i hate that shit!! every time i say not to everyone grins and does so. damn crap. i told him that and he shuddered and said he hated it. whee"
dec 5th 2001
"yesterday was so great. ter called me right at 4 it made me so happy. we talked until like 6:10 or so. then i ate and showered and all that good stuff... the phone rang again and i was sure it wouldn't be him.. however i was PLEASANTLY wrong. he called me again! made me very happy.
so anyway it's time to rant about ter. carlye thinks he is really hot, but if she only knew what else there was to him... he's just so.. in big words, aesthetically pleasing, but in short, he's beautiful. he's got the greatest hands and he's so soft.. i love his hands. his eyes are so deep.. and he's got well.. the prettiest lips i've ever seen. he doesn't have abs but who cares! he has the cutest little belly lol ^^ far better than abs ^_~ and he smells so good... and that's only things on the outside, i'll get to those other things another day :]"
december 6th, 2001
"so yeah i miss ter as i said before. every few moments i miss him a little more. dear god that rhymed. only 17 more waking hours until he comes to see me i CANT wait at all i'm bursting. he's got something to ask me and i don't know what it is and it's driving me crazy. gosh he is just so sweet i almost wanna break down and cry when i read his emails to me. i've never been so happy before in my life and i'm so serious. we're almost the same person only he's so beautiful and smart and kind that he's just way better than me... i don't deserve this at all, i'd never be worthy of him in a million years but here he is emailing me and calling me everyday to tell me that he misses me. *huggles blanket up around herself* and i miss him too"
thats all i can stomach today...
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[22 May 2004|08:03pm] |
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mood |
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empty |
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music |
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hate this and i'll love you//MUSE |
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i wish i was this strong.....
Oh I am growing tired
Of allowing you to steal
Everything I have
You're making me feel
Like I was born to service you
But I am growing by the hour
You left us far behind
So we all discard our souls
And blaze through your skies
So afraid to die
'Cause I was born to destroy you
I am growing by the hour
I'm getting strong in every way
You led me on
You led me on
You
Oh, I'm getting strong in every way
this journal is closed.
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[22 May 2004|07:42am] |
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music |
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modest mouse//float on |
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i wish life was as simple as some of my best memories of it... warm spring mornings and dim vermont autumns... things always mean something to you after they are long over
see you around
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[21 May 2004|03:30pm] |
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music |
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the scientist//coldplay |
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i think its fitting i can hear this song coming out of your headphones...
Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
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[20 May 2004|09:41pm] |
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today has officially been the worst day of my life. everything is gone and everything is over and nothing will ever get better again. i probably won't come on the internet very often and my site will be taken down. so i'm sorry everyone... i love you all
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[20 May 2004|06:01am] |
have you ever been so utterly aghast and sad at something that you can't do anything but stare without breathing as a single tear runs down your cheek?
that is the worst kind of sad that there is my friends.
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[19 May 2004|12:29am] |
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music |
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LIBERI FATALI |
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plz watch my movie!!! OMG!!!
just scroll on thru and listen to the music with it
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[08 May 2004|07:10pm] |
if you are coming to terrances tonight, be here at 9
813 766 7430
if he doesn't answer that, call the house phone twice in a row and i'll know its one of you
813 973 0806
gate code is 346
i feel like swimming tonight, if you want to join me bring swimmystuff
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[06 May 2004|01:44pm] |
aww..heehee *eats*
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[05 May 2004|08:34am] |
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[29 Apr 2004|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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dead |
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music |
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muse//showbiz |
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god i love muse
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[25 Apr 2004|12:57pm] |
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that was the craziest party yet
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[17 Mar 2004|09:29am] |
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i would totally do the girl's lil bro from thirteen, even tho he's like fucking 15 irl. oi.
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[11 Mar 2004|04:24pm] |
what do you guys think... would a thin libby not make a fucking badass penance?
hellz yeah. thats megacon next year.
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xstupididiotx's journal
